A podcaster and media influencer of Galactic Proportions, here to report and shine the gilded light on Queen Esters, dig up dirt on the machinations fomenting between the Princess and Fermen Taye Locke of the Locke Genesty and fitting in a Tour of this Fabled Planet with Earth Tours and Excursions.
Character Background
Wee Heavy the Mutt is a podcaster and media influencer (translator’s note – not exactly that, but a close approximation so that simple Earthlings might comprehend) He was used as the unwitting middle man to ‘leak ‘ the Beer Scout Fermen Taye Locke’s report as Oasthouse needed Fermen to be exposed – even among the Beer Sith, each Lord’s scouts are fastidiously guarded against interference from one another. Wee Heavy also has a large number of exposés to his credit, as well as espousing an assortment of conspiracy theories ranging from the Beer Sith are out to rule the Galaxy (not a theory, actually, more like yup, that is what they’re up to) to recurring myths and mythos about ancient orders guiding the Universe to higher states of existence, all vying for airspace among snake-oil cure-alls and roads to everlasting afterlife after life savings are sent down the road, first.
Actually a dog who secretly mind controls a human man to get things done. No one thinks anything of, or suspects, the dog. You have caught wind of a potential elixir of power to be found here and are looking to see if you can smuggle some out and sell it for a tidy profit.
FAQ
Why are you on Earth?
Using my online persona as a guise, I have taken a tour of the area and “wandered off” to see if I can find the elixir, then acquire and export it through illicit means while maintaining a solid alibi.
What is Darth Malt to You?
I have been hired by Brewmaster Malt to use my Media Influencer status to spread rumors about Lord Oasthouse being a terrible Brewmaster, a terrible employer, and to have generally unsanitary production methods and so forth.
What about Brewmaster Oasthouse?
A rival to Brewmaster Malt within the Beer Alliance Brewery organization. You know he’s a pretty lousy and unsanitary Beer Master, right?
Tell me about the Fabled Brew?
My persona as a Media Influencer has allowed me into areas that I would otherwise not be – I have pieced together that Fermen probably discovered it. I’m trying to figure out what it is and where he got it from, then Fermen disappeared.
Info on Others
Fermen Taye Locke
The person who allegedly identified the Elixir. My contact. He has arranged my help to smuggle himself and the princess offworld in exchange for the secret.
Brewmaster Malt
A member of the Beer Alliance brewery organization. Clearly has connections to the underworld. You have been hired by him to smear Lord Oasthouse’s reputation as a Brewmaster.
Lord Oasthouse
A rival to Brewmaster Malt within the Beer Alliance Brewery organization.
Queen Esters Tannin
Don’t know much but she really doesn’t like Fermen.
Princess Amylase Tannin
Didn’t like Fermen at first, but since his disappearance has had nothing but praise
Ambassador Hops
Seems to be a Jedi Master
Carbo Nashun
A bounty hunter, maybe after Fermen.
Lauter Tun
An assassin, might be sent by Malt, not sure why he’s here.